Saturday, November 26, 2011

A Letter of Thanks

Recently I wrote a letter to Jake’s Pre-K Teacher, Ms. Celeste.  Mind you, I was terribly tardy in sending it as Jake started Kindergarten in the fall and graduated Pre-K in June.  Typically when the school year ends, it is nice to bring in a thank you for the Teacher that has done so much for your child.  I, however, was remise in doing this.  Bad mommy!!
I do have a good reason for this, but really (as a friend recently told me), a simple deed is better than no deed at all.
Obviously, I knew Jake would be leaving this Teacher and had plenty of time to reflect and pick a perfect gift for her.  But, I just couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye to her.  I actually think I was more attached to her than Jake was, and he really was! 
She did so much for him in the two years he was with her.  He made strides that blew our expectations and hers.  How do you thank someone who gave your son his voice?  I kept going back and forth on what I would give her, and no gift seemed perfect.  A Starbuck’s gift card?  Not good enough.  A gift card for the movies?  Not good enough.  Nothing seemed worthy.  I stumbled over this and failed and delivered nothing at all. 
I kept thinking, I will write her a letter today.  That day came and went.  The words never came to me.  I was tongue tied and didn’t know what to say, only because I had so much to say.  Does that make sense?  I wanted her to feel my gratitude.  My forever feeling of thankfulness for all that she did.  Every time I went to write, my mind froze.  Then, a few days before Thanksgiving, she was on my mind again and the words seemed to flow.  I only hope my words were not too late.
My letter to his Teacher:
Dear Celeste,
I'm sure at this point, you probably have thought that we all fell off the face of the earth!  Well, we haven't! 
I've just been tongue tied and have unfortunately fallen into the category of "the road to hell is paved with good intentions".
I have thought about you almost daily since Jake left to start Kinder and when it was time for his graduation to Kinder and him leaving you, it became very difficult for me.  You (and your staff) gave so much to Jake and invested so much in his success and it is because of you all that he is where he is today.  From where we started when he was 11months old to now, is incredible.  The strides and achievements he has made have been nothing short of a miracle and much of that success is because of you!!
I am forever grateful that you came into our lives and helped my son so much and there is no gift that would ever compare to the gratitude I owe you.  Please know that our silence was nothing more than denial and sadness on my part.  I was so proud that he was able to move on to Kinder, but was sad that it also meant he was moving on from you :(
So, during this time of Thanks, I give thanks to you for being so instrumental in my son's life!  Best to you and your family during the holiday season!
All my best,

Monday, August 15, 2011

A Feel Good Post

So many feelings, so few words.

My heart is swollen right now for the love of my family. 

I sit in awe of the perfectness of my children. 

My ears smile with the sound of their laughter.

My heart is forever entwined with them.

The love I feel for my husband is without measure.

I am forever grateful to God for all that is in my life.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Caroline is 3 yrs old today!

Today is Sweet Caroline's Birthday!  She is now 3 yrs old.  I say it all the time because everytime I look at her, I am amazed at how fast the time really does go.

I remember the day we met like it was yesterday.  The immense joy and love I felt for her was immediate and the depth of those feelings can never be fully explained for they are too great for words.

From the first day, there has been a very strong connection between she & I.  In fact, a connection so strong that I wondered why?  And then, one day I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine and while I was pondering this out loud to her, she had a thought about it that made sense to me.  She said, "She was the one the made you feel whole.  That you weren't broken and that you could conceive a child naturally".  I think she is right.  

Happy Birthday, my Sweet Baby Girl!

Mama loves you to the moon & back!!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

R.I.P Binky

We have finally gotten Caroline to give up her Binky!!  It actually wasn't a struggle at all for her to stop, but it just seems like we should have gotten her to stop earlier.  But whatever.  She has been Binky-free now for two solid weeks and she has done awesome!  And for a girl with the strongest sucking reflex EVER, to just give it up cold turkey, is nothing short of a miracle!!  Way to go my Sweet Caroline!! 

 Year 0 - first Binky in the hospital

 Year 1 - still using the Binky

Year 2 - STILL using the Binky

In September 2010 when she started pre-school, we stopped the Binkies at nap time.  She was only using them at night.

June 2011 she is Binky free!!  Yippee!!

Year 3- her birthday is July 11th and there will no longer be any Binkies!!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Religious Confusion

I was raised in a Christian household.  Not overly in-your-face, but I knew it was there.  We never prayed, except on major holidays before chowing down.  We never went to Church.  My Mom's feeling was that we didn't need to go to a building to talk to God.  That we could talk to him whenever and wherever, not just on Sunday or in a Church.  It made sense to me.  Still does. 

Something in me decided that around the age of 9 or so, that I was going to be a Catholic.  I still to this day, do not know why I chose that path.  But I was determined to get baptized and made my Mom take me to Bible Study once a week so that I could learn all about the Catholic religion.  And she obliged ;)   I was baptized and from that moment on, I became a Catholic. 

When I met James, I knew he was Christian but didn't think much of the difference at the time.  In fact, we attend a Christian church.  And it is fine, but it feels informal to me and I struggle with feeling the authority or history of God.  There is something to be said for attending mass and feeling that overwhelming spirit when you walk in.  I love the pomp & circumstance of the Catholic church and long for it.  I also struggle with wondering if my kid's will get to know both religions and still want to have them baptized.

Now as I get older, and I understand all the nuts & bolts about what each religion believes, I feel like I am even more confused now.

1 - Here's what I mean.  I ABSOLUTELY do not believe in abortion.  I believe that life starts at conception, and that no human should have the right to end that life due to an inconvenience.  If you are old enough to have sex, than you are old enough to deal with all issues that come with that responsibility.   It is even hard for me to agree with an abortion when a women has been raped.  I know, I know.  Put myself in that situation and would I feel differently?  I really don't know, but can't know because I haven't been there.  I think people really like to use the "women's right" thing as a get-out-jail free card.  I think that law that just passed in Oklahoma, where a woman must undergo an ultrasound and hear a description of the fetus before getting an abortion, is absolutely the right thing.  People need to understand, that this is a living breathing child. This is where I agree with the Catholic church.

2- I don't care if a gay or lesbian want to marry each other.  I am for gay marriage.  I believe that if you are in a loving relationship then there should be no reason why you cannot commit yourselves to each other.  Seriously, what harm would happen if this were to be made legal?  I also don't agree in promoting hate and it seems that is what happens with this subject.  It feels more like bigotry to me, than people preaching what God wants us to do.  I don't believe God would want us hating people.  Just my feelings on it.  This is where me and the Catholic church do not agree or the Christian church for that matter.  Seriously, can't we all just get along and love each other??  If no one is hurting anyone, than who cares!

Those are just two examples of where my confusion lies.  There are more where that came from, but those are the hottest issues.  For me anyway.

So, where does this put me religiously?  I have no idea!! How about you?  Are your thoughts in line with your religious beliefs?

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

This, This & That

When you are thinking about a mate, most of us have a list of 'this, this & that', that we hope they have.

Well, when I married James, I got this, this & that AND a whole lot more!! 

I got a man who has a heart of gold and loves with his whole heart.  Me and the kids hit the jackpot!

Back in March, my company sponsored a St. Baldrick's event.  If you do not know who they are, please take a moment to check out the link at the bottom of my page as it will give you all the details.  I was not aware of St. Baldrick's until my company hosted the event two years ago.  At that time, I knew of a little girl that was fighting a vicious battle against Neuroblastoma.  Her name is Layla Grace.  I watched in despair as her parents did all they could do save their little girl.  Unfortunately, she succumb to cancer on March 9, 2010 at the tender age of  27months.  To say that I was completely consumed with her and her fight, would be an understatement.  I was mad, devastated and guilty.  Mad that this was happening to this little girl.  Mad that her parents had to watch their baby suffer and ultimately, pass away in their arms.  Devastated that I grew to love a child I never knew and had to mourn her loss.  Guilty that at times my kids were so misbehaved that I wished for two minutes of peace, knowing that Ryan & Shanna would give anything for those two minutes back with Layla. 

As you can imagine, James would watch me suffering and at first, thought that it was not a good idea to get so wrapped around a child that I didn't even know.  Which, I totally understand.  He would see me cry and cry and cry.  And as a spouse, the last thing you want to see is your partner crying and knowing you can't do anything to help.  And then, his light bulb came on!  

As I told him of my desire to do whatever I could to help these babies, he joined the fight!!!  He helped me think of ideas regarding my non-profit.  He helped me by talking about the babies that I would tell him about. He didn't have to do any of this.  He could have turned his cheek and let me go down this road he knew I needed to travel down.  But no.  He joined me!

So, when St. Baldrick's came around again this year, I decided I was going to get even more involved and became one of the organizers of our event.  I met weekly with other colleagues and we brain stormed on how we would raise more money than last year and how we would blow the roof of this years event!  And we did!  Combined with our other locations around the world, we raised over $970K for St. Baldrick's!  Quite an accomplishment!  But...that's not all!

My husband decided that he and Jake would join the fight and raise funds to shave their heads in solidarity for all the kids around the world fighting this disease!  He and my son raised over $1800.00!!   His heart is simply amazing to me.  Not only did he decide to shave his head, he also reached out to a little girl and her family and wanted to sponsor them.  He told them all about the event and invited them down to be a part of it.  Her name is Hailey and she is the little girl pictured between James & Jake.  She had brain cancer and is now in remission! 

He and my son, took the stage together and shaved their heads!  It was awesome to have my kids there and teach them about giving back to those that need it most.  I love that, if nothing else, this is the lesson that they get from James & I. 

 I firmly believe that those that can, should.  If you have even a few dollars to spare, you should be donating them.  If you have even a few hours to spare, then you should be donating them.  Those of us that are of able bodies, should be giving back.  It is the humane thing to do. 

Babe, I am more in love with you everyday!  I am so proud that you are my husband.  Thank you for being such a great example to our kids!

Monday, June 6, 2011

A Change of Direction

Lately, James & I have been leaning towards Jacob attending mainstream Kindergarten and were very excited that he and Grace would, finally, be attending the same school together.

Well, that is not to be.

His present teacher called me for a conference and expressed her concern about Jake attending regular Kindergarten.  She does not think he is ready.  I won't lie.  This deeply saddened me.  Here I had been talking to Grace & Jake about their new school, even taking them there on the weekends to get them familiar with the lay of the land.  And now, it is not to be :(

I really wanted to tell his Teacher that she was wrong.  That he was ready.  But in my gut, I know that she is right.  He is not ready.

Academically, he is perfect!  He is scoring above his grade, but socially, he is behind.  Not far, but still behind.  In Kindergarten, it is required that you do as you are told.  If you are told to sit down and do your work, that is what you should be doing and the Teacher should not have to be reminding you of this task.  This is where the issue lies.  He is probably hitting this command at about 50%.  We still see this behavior at home, which makes it easier to accept her recommendation.

His current Teacher, Ms. C., wanted me to go and tour the school they are recommending.  It is what they call an 'SDC' (special day class).  Where there is a Teacher and four Aides to 10 kids vs, 1 Teacher and 1 Aide to 25 kids.  The individualized attention is so much more and will benefit him greatly.  The plan is to have him in this class, but during part of the day he will be mainstreamed into the general Kindergarten class so that he can see what is expected of him and be ready to rock 'n roll when the time comes!  The goal is that by the time 1st grade rolls around, he will be ready to attend 1st grade in a general session.

So this morning, I met the school Psychologist at the new school and was more than pleasantly surprised at the class.  The Teacher, Ms. K., is a woman that has the most calm way about her.  I was there for a good 35mins and she had those kids listening and participating without raising her voice in the slightest!!  Heck..I need parenting classes from her!  She had them saying the Pledge of Allegiance, counting the days that had past of the school year in ten's, she even had them doing yoga!  So cute to see the little ones in the doggie down pose ;)

Now, my heart and soul feel great about him being at this school.  I know that he will succeed and soar!  I have no doubts in my Bubbi!

I attached some pics....well just because he is so stinkin' cute!  He was showing off his Mohawk :)

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Baby Over 40

Am I too old to have another? 

I don’t worry about my health, I worry about my sanity.

With 3 kids under 5, would my psychy survive?

Am I crazy to even entertain the idea?

The backstory is that we used IVF to get pregnant with the twins and during that 1st (and only) cycle they were able to retrieve plenty of great eggs.  When it was time to implant, we decided to implant 3, leaving 4 on ice.  4 embryo’s, not eggs.  Big difference in my mind and my husband’s. 

When we were in the process of IVF, it never entered our minds what we would do with the remaining embryo’s.  The thinking was to hope for as many good eggs as possible, so that if the one cycle failed, we would have others to implant.  Truthfully, I went in to the whole process very positive and had a very strong feeling that we would conceive out of the gate.  I never thought about the other eggs we fertilized.  Which, I admit, was very reckless.  I just didn’t think that far in advance.

So, now here we are with 4 embryo’s on ice and I feel a responsibility to give them a chance.

I really can’t wrap my head around 4 more children and I know that James cannot either, but we both feel a moral responsibility to those babies.  So, our game plan will be to put one in at a time and see what happens.

I have no idea when we are going to do this, but it will be soon as I am not getting any younger.  In fact, in a few days I will be 41.  Is it too old?  I don’t think so in this day and age.

And in case you were wondering.  Caroline was conceived naturally while we were in North Carolina on vacation scouting out a new state for us to live in.    Hence her name…Caroline Smile

Monday, May 23, 2011

A Fun Weekend!

As I wrote in an earlier post, my health has been acting up lately and some days are better than others.  Unfortunately, I had a flare up on Saturday and was left pretty much down for the count.

But on Sunday!  That was a whole different story!  I was up and raring to go!  James & I decided to split up the kids and he took Grace on a hike and I took Jake & Caroline to our favorite park that has a train you ride around the park and it also has a carousel!  The kids had a great time and so did James & I.

Here's some pics!

I hope you all had a great weekend too!!

The Simple Life

Does it exist?

I am constantly craving the simple life.  I want to know my neighbors...all of them.  Not just the one to the right of us.  I want to live in a community.  I want to live in an area that shares my religious beliefs and political beliefs. Here, we are in the minority on both of those.  I am tired of people actually laughing in my face because they think I am joking when I tell them I have been to Bible study.  This is my reality and not one I want my kids raised in.

My Mom's side of the family is all from Waco, Texas and I have been surrounded by the Southern tongue forever!  My Grandma who has lived her for at least 55yrs, STILL has an accent as thick as molasses and it is music to my ears.  There is a lot to be said for the way people act in the South.  People are much more friendly there and southern charm still exists!

My heart really craves the South.  I need to be there.  I need to raise my children there.  I need the slower pace.  There are so many pro's for my family moving, but with pro's, comes the con's.

My parents and my husband's parents are all here.  That would mean that my kids would not get to see them on the regular basis that they do now.  I know that the relationships that have been formed between my parents and my children would stay sound.  I have no doubt about that and my parents would make sure of it!  It just means that the frequency of the visits would be spread out. 

But as a woman, who was once a child, I will always need my mommy.  There I said it aloud.  I will miss my parents beyond words.  I am extremely close to my mom & dad and I'm not sure my anxiety could handle being across the country from them :(  But, I am an adult now (begrudgingly so) and I need to do what's best for my family and I do believe that this would be the right decision. 

My mom has always said that I should have been born in the 50's, and I really do think she is right!  I want to stay home with my kids.  I want to volunteer at worthy causes and feel like I am giving something back to my community. 

But most of all, I want to feel like I am home.  And I don't not feel that now. 

Tell me, where do you live and do you like it?  Does it feel like home?  Are you considering a move?

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Many Bambino's

Ever since I could remember, my goal in life was to have many, many kids and stay home and raise them.  Back in that young mind of mine, I totally had the whole thing planned out.  My husband would work, I would stay home and raise the babies, clean the house, fix the dinner, etc.  My mom always said that I was born in the wrong era and I couldn't agree more!  I still long for that dream to become a reality. 

But, welcome the monkey wrench in to the plans.

It appears as tho, I have zilch for patience.  How is that my dream is to stay home surronded by little voices, messes and God knows what else when the slightest bit of chaos has me pulling my hair out?

Could I have been that wrong about my dream??  I only have 3 kids and beg to be able to take a shower or go to the bathroom without an audience!!  It is true that I don't have a lot of down time from the kids, but still, if I was a stay at home mom, the same would be true and even more so!!  I would be with them 24/7, where as now, I work full-time Monday-Friday and only have the mornings and evenings with them during the week and then they are with us full-time on the weekends.  It's a strain.  It's a strain on my marriage.


I think I want another????  What is wrong with me?!!  Someone needs to seriously lock me up!

Please tell me there are others of you out there just like me that would do it all over again!!  Please!!!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A Beautiful Life

I was watching a 20/20 special with Stephanie Nielson, the author of the Nie Nie Dialogues, who survived a horrific plane crash that burned over 60-80% of her body.   She went on to tell her story of how her kids had to get to know their ‘new’ mommy and how her then 22month old thought her sister was his mommy.  She has had countless operations.  Had to endure more pain than anyone could possibly understand and do you know what she said at the end of her interview when asked if she had any regrets??

She said that she had no regrets and that she has a beautiful life!

I am amazed at how some people pull themselves up from the bottom and carry on.  They do not look back; only forward.  They do not wallow in self pity.  They don’t waste time thinking of what was and what is.  The concentrate on the good.  The now.

I seriously think some people are just wired this way and I do not believe myself to be one of them.  I get caught up in my drama.  Which compared to others, would be a joke. 

I get caught up in the fact that I have gained weight.  I get caught up in the fact that I have hit a rough spot within myself.  There are many days when I don’t want to get out of bed.  When staying in my pajamas seems like the best choice out there.

Then there are other days when I feel like I am as happy as happy could be.  When the perfect song will come on the radio and I will sing my heart out.  When the perfect day has brought the perfect weather.  There are many days like this, but it seems as of lately, that there are too many bad days to outweigh the good.

I have had health issues all my life and again I am dealing with another.  Nothing life threatening, just life annoying!  I live in constant pain.  Some days the pain is better than others.  Right now, it sucks.  It’s uncomfortable.  It sucks to be in chronic pain.  It sucks to be told that an answer to this is a hysterectomy.   It all sucks.

And yet, here is a woman who knows what pain really is.   I commend her for her willpower and strength.  She is truly a role model.

I think I will adopt her philosophy….

“Life is Beautiful”

His and Hers

I know this is just a picture of two ball caps, but it is so much more to me.

It reflects partnership, teammates, true love.

He is my husband and the man of my dreams.  I am forever grateful that I met him and that he asked for my hand in marriage.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

A Brave Little Man

On May 3rd, in the afternoon, brave Phinean Halligan took his last breath.  

He was only 2 1/2 yrs old

He faught so hard for a year

When will this end?  
Mad, does not even begin to express all the rage I feel about this.

You can pay your respects at

Thursday, April 28, 2011


When I started this blog, it was to chronicle my life.  I wanted to be sure to capture all the awesome things happening within it.  

While we have had lots of awesomeness happening, I haven't felt like blogging.
A blog is such a public forum and one where honesty should be respected.  I respect blogging enough, that I felt it best to stay away awhile since I couldn't seem to share everything.

I feel that a blog should be an honest depiction of your life and that the good & bad should be represented.  But I guess I am just not brave enough to share the bad.  And I feel if I just share the good, that I am not being honest by portraying a life that isn't so.  Does any of that make sense?

What do you all think?  Should a blog be all or nothing?  Or just the good?

Sometimes I wish I would have started this blog under anonymous circumstances so that I could reveal everything.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I am finally part of the 21st century!!

I had a BlackBerry.  Hated it.  I also hated AT&T, so I had to wait for Verizon to get their act together and get the iPhone.  As you know, this happened!

On Monday I finally joined the other giddy iPhone owners and understand the lure and addiction of this thing!  I am hooked, line and sinker!!

To make my gadget addiction worse, I also just ordered (and received today) my very first laptop!  QVC had a deal that I could not pass up!

I got a Dell laptop and while I could try and remember all the cool things it has…I’ll just tell you that it is awesome and I am more than happy!  It was a total cinch to hook up and get going on.

I hope these new gadgets will help organize my life as this is what they promise…right?  ;)

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Organics for Everyone!!

Okay, I'm going to get on my soapbox now!

6 or so months ago I caught an episode of Dr. Oz about pesticides on our food.  He had an expert come out and talk about all the nasty stuff that is in our fruits, vegetables, meat, milk!  It is everywhere.  On one apple alone, there are 40 known pesticides.  40!!  This is sooo completely unacceptable.

Needless to say, I was shocked about this.  And yes, I know that the Organic train has come and been around for years, but I never knew to the extent in which our foods are exposed to chemicals.  So, of course, I completely switched everything in our house to Organics.  Milk, meat, fruit, veggies, everything.  I have started shopping at Whole Foods religiously.  

Then it dawned on me.  I am in a position where I can afford to buy Organic, but many, many people are not.  So, even if a mother knows that organic is better, she doesn't have a choice due to the cost of organics. That is heartbreaking.  Organics should be available to all and it should be ALL that is offered.  It should not be okay to sell us food that can harm us.

Why in the world would the Government even allow foods to be sold that have poisonous chemicals in it?  I am soo flabbergasted that this is even acceptable. 

So, here's where the soapbox comes in.

Autism is on the rise.  Cancer is on the rise.  Do you see a correlation here?  Because I do!  I am completely convinced that all of these things are connected.  How can they not be!  If we are eating foods doused in chemicals, it has to have some negative effects on our body.

Ggggrrrr....this makes me soo mad!

God gave me a miracle

I read this on a CaringBridge site and it hit me hard. 

As most of you know, Jacob has special needs and they have hinted that he has Asperger's Syndrome, but with early intervention, we have been able to turn around most of his delays.  

I never would have believed that he would be making the progress he is making.  When we started his therapy, there was talk that it was questionable that he would be able to start Kindergarten on time.  Now, it is a sure thing that he will go off to Kindergarten.  The only thing we are trying to figure out is if he will need to be in a Special Day Class.  In SDC they have aides that help kids with learning disabilities.  It gives those kids, just a little omph to help them prepare for being in a general class where he would be 1 of 25, vs. 1 of 6 which is what he is in now.

Anywho, at 2 years old, Jacob was still not talking and we weren't sure if he ever would.  We started intensive therapy at home, working 40hrs a week with his therapists on everything from speech therapy,occupational therapy and ABA therapy.  And after a few sessions we had THAT moment where he looked over at me and said "Mama".  I can't even find the deep words to articulate how it felt to hear him say that.  It was a true gift and one that was not taken for granted.  I know how hard he had worked to get those words out and never had I been soo proud of him. Tears immediately filled my eyes.  

Mom's that have special needs kids, will find solace in this.  I know I did.

~Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year thousands of mothers will give birth to a premature baby. Did you ever wonder how mothers of preemies are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

“Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron saint, Matthew. “Forest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron saint, Cecilia. “Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron saint... give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity.

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, “Give her a premature baby.” The angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”

“Exactly, “ smiles God. “Could I give a premature baby a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.”

“But does she have patience?” asks the angel. “I don’t want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she’ll handle it.

“I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence that are so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world and that’s not going to be easy.”

“But, Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.” God smiles, “No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.”

The angel gasps, “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?” God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child who comes in a less than perfect way. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied.

“She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says ‘Mommy’ for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.

“I will permit her to see clearly the things I see - ignorance, cruelty, prejudice - and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.”

“And what about her patron saint?” asks the angel, the pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles. “A mirror will suffice.”

~Author unknown

"How do you do it?"

That is a question that I have gotten more times than I can count.  Especially when Caroline was first born and the twins were 2.  My response was always "you just do".  And whilst saying that, I would be thinking in the back of my head, this isn't SOO hard.  It's totally doable.

Well, my tune has changed!!  And when people now ask me and I more reluctant to say "who say's I'm doing it well?".  Lately my patience and tolerance are at an all-time low.  I am soooo tired of hearing myself talk that I want to tell myself to shut up already!  I can only imagine what my children must be thinking!

They aren't doing anything out of the norm for 4year olds and a 2year old.  You know, not listening, arguing, debating, talking back, etc.  You get the gist.  If I had a penny for every time a child did as I told them, I would be beyond rich!  I would be the new Mrs. Trump.  No doubt.

But alas, that is a fantasy world. 

I am soo sick of hearing all the negative words in my house.  I do praise them when they do something great, but it is the not listening to just about everything we tell them to do that is taking it's toll on James & I.

Both James & I sit at work and think about our kids and how much we miss them, then within 5 minutes of everyone getting home, we are ready to pull our hair out!  And yet, we know that when they are grown and gone that we will be heartbroken.  So we try to savor every minute and be thankful that they still want to be around us.  

But in the moment, that is very, very hard to do.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

We're Going to Disneyland!

I'm not sure who is more excited, me or the kids??!! 

I've been downloading all kids of tips & hints immersing myself in everything Disney!!  I even paid for a software program that will help me plan my day by maximizing our time in the park.  Crazy, right? 

Typically when we have gone to Disneyland we have gone the cheapest route possible by staying in a budget hotel and watching the dollars very closely......but not this year!!

This year we are staying in the Grand California Hotel!!  They had a special deal that if you book before 2/14 and have your visit happen before 4/14, you got 30% off accommodations! 

So we are going to be living large at this hotel!  I just cannot wait!  The park has a special entrance into the park so we won't have to walk a mile just to get to the beginning of the park.  We also will have an early entrance on one of the days we are there so that we get in an hour before everyone else.

This is going to be awesome!!

The twins are turning 5 on May 1st, so we are giving them an early birthday present! 

The countdown begins!!  66 Days to go!

Can you tell I am excited ;)

A Shepard, An Angel and the Choir

During the Christmas holiday, the kids were all part of a play based upon Jesus' birth. 

Jake was a Shepard, Grace was an Angel and Caroline, well she was supposed to be in the choir, but she got a case of stage fright and could not go on.  The same could not be said about the twins!  They were not nervous at all and in fact, they were very excited to go on stage!

Cutest Angel and Shepard I have ever seen!!

Grace & Jake each had parts that their were to act out with each song they sang and they both did awesome!  After each song was sung, the crowd would clap, and Jake would take a bow!  He was the only one to do this!  They both had a great time, but Jake had a grin from ear-to-ear during the whole thing!

At one pause during a song Jake yelled out "Mom, I love you!"  That was awesome beyond words!

We had my father-in-law take a family pic of us and as you can see he cut off James' head!  But I absolutely love the laughter on Jake's face in it, so I had to post it.  Sorry James! 

New Years Resolution = FAIL

Why, why, why do I set myself up like this!!

My last post contained a resolution that I would post 5 times a week!  Brraaahhaaaa!  What the heck was I thinking??

I have a husband, 3 kids and a full-time job!  That is an insane resolution!

So, let's just forget that I made that resolution and I will blog as much as I can.

until next time....

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

New Years Resolutions

I remember being in high school and hearing Prince sing about 1999 and think that was FOREVER away and now, it is here! 

Now I am a happily married mother of three in her 40's and I have the life I have always dreamed of.  I am one lucky gal :)

I've never really been one for New Years resolutions, but I have decided to make one this year.  And it is to write on my blog at least 5 times a week. 

I love to look back and my previous posts and read about things that I have already forgotten.  Which is why I must continue to post my day-to-day musings. 

Mundane or not, they must be recorded...for my children's sake!