Wednesday, February 16, 2011

God gave me a miracle

I read this on a CaringBridge site and it hit me hard. 

As most of you know, Jacob has special needs and they have hinted that he has Asperger's Syndrome, but with early intervention, we have been able to turn around most of his delays.  

I never would have believed that he would be making the progress he is making.  When we started his therapy, there was talk that it was questionable that he would be able to start Kindergarten on time.  Now, it is a sure thing that he will go off to Kindergarten.  The only thing we are trying to figure out is if he will need to be in a Special Day Class.  In SDC they have aides that help kids with learning disabilities.  It gives those kids, just a little omph to help them prepare for being in a general class where he would be 1 of 25, vs. 1 of 6 which is what he is in now.

Anywho, at 2 years old, Jacob was still not talking and we weren't sure if he ever would.  We started intensive therapy at home, working 40hrs a week with his therapists on everything from speech therapy,occupational therapy and ABA therapy.  And after a few sessions we had THAT moment where he looked over at me and said "Mama".  I can't even find the deep words to articulate how it felt to hear him say that.  It was a true gift and one that was not taken for granted.  I know how hard he had worked to get those words out and never had I been soo proud of him. Tears immediately filled my eyes.  

Mom's that have special needs kids, will find solace in this.  I know I did.

~Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year thousands of mothers will give birth to a premature baby. Did you ever wonder how mothers of preemies are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

“Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron saint, Matthew. “Forest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron saint, Cecilia. “Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron saint... give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity.

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, “Give her a premature baby.” The angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”

“Exactly, “ smiles God. “Could I give a premature baby a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.”

“But does she have patience?” asks the angel. “I don’t want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she’ll handle it.

“I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence that are so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world and that’s not going to be easy.”

“But, Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.” God smiles, “No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.”

The angel gasps, “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?” God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child who comes in a less than perfect way. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied.

“She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says ‘Mommy’ for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.

“I will permit her to see clearly the things I see - ignorance, cruelty, prejudice - and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.”

“And what about her patron saint?” asks the angel, the pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles. “A mirror will suffice.”

~Author unknown

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