Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Baby Over 40

Am I too old to have another? 

I don’t worry about my health, I worry about my sanity.

With 3 kids under 5, would my psychy survive?

Am I crazy to even entertain the idea?

The backstory is that we used IVF to get pregnant with the twins and during that 1st (and only) cycle they were able to retrieve plenty of great eggs.  When it was time to implant, we decided to implant 3, leaving 4 on ice.  4 embryo’s, not eggs.  Big difference in my mind and my husband’s. 

When we were in the process of IVF, it never entered our minds what we would do with the remaining embryo’s.  The thinking was to hope for as many good eggs as possible, so that if the one cycle failed, we would have others to implant.  Truthfully, I went in to the whole process very positive and had a very strong feeling that we would conceive out of the gate.  I never thought about the other eggs we fertilized.  Which, I admit, was very reckless.  I just didn’t think that far in advance.

So, now here we are with 4 embryo’s on ice and I feel a responsibility to give them a chance.

I really can’t wrap my head around 4 more children and I know that James cannot either, but we both feel a moral responsibility to those babies.  So, our game plan will be to put one in at a time and see what happens.

I have no idea when we are going to do this, but it will be soon as I am not getting any younger.  In fact, in a few days I will be 41.  Is it too old?  I don’t think so in this day and age.

And in case you were wondering.  Caroline was conceived naturally while we were in North Carolina on vacation scouting out a new state for us to live in.    Hence her name…Caroline Smile

1 comment:

Jenny said...

Wow, Jenn. 41 is definitely not too old, but I agree, SANITY of a working mom adding to the madness. But you know, you just figure it out. Did you know how you would handle twins? Did you know how you'd do it with an unexpected third? NO. NO. You just do, and sometimes you don't. And it will be the same.

I often think that in the even we had another, managing child care for 4 kids vs 3 is what is the kicker for me. It's just so hard.

The fact that you and James are on the same page means that you can and will do it, if it is what is meant to be.

And if you have another and still have 3 perfectly good eggs left, there are always egg adoption clinics, I'm not sure if that is the formal name. But knowing how you like to give to others and you know the struggle the TTC mamas go through, there is a place for women who want to adopt, but carry their own baby. I think that would be a tough decision, but it would give the eggs life, and be a dream come true to another family, so if you decide you are done with your family, it is an option to look at.

Wishing you the best as you make these difficult decisions. But knowing your heart, and that you and your husband are on the same page about it, I know you will find a path that works for you, and I also know that you CAN do whatever it is you choose. :) Hugs. I hope you find peace with whatever decision your made, now and in the years to come.