Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Anxiety Sucks

So, I am having knee surgery today. Nothing major, pretty minor surgery in fact. However, the thought that I might die on the table consumes me. I keep thinking things like.."is this the last time I will kiss my babies good-bye in the morning?", "is this the last time I look in my husband's eyes?" get the point.

I am full of anxiety. Anxiety about surgery. Anxiety about flying. Anxiety about being stuck in traffic and feeling trapped. Anxiety about elevators and only ride in them if I absolutely have to. I have suffered from panic attacks since I was 18 and at times they go away for a good while and then, for reasons unknown to me, they come back and stay awhile. I have a prescription for Xanax that I keep on hand for times when the anxiety becomes too much.

And I is all in my head. That is the most frustrating part. I can't get control of it and that causes me anxiety!! It is a no-win situation for me!!

If anyone has any good advice, I would LOVE to hear how you control your anxiety.

1 comment:

Jenny said...

we could be sisters!
i do have some things to suggest here, but not typing one handed!

one thing is cut out alcohol, sugar and caffeine, it really makes a difference. Not for good, but when you really feel it coming on.

I also used imagery. Like picturing myself hiding under a warm safe tent while the black world of clouds passes over, or visualizing a STOP sign every time your mind races. I googled anxiety reducing imagery and came up with some good ones. They seem simple and silly, but they can work.

I hate how it feels like you should be able to just "snap out of it" but you you just can't.

Wishing you well dear mama! I'll try to post more later if I can!