Life's not fair

When I was a little girl, I would say to my mom, after she had disciplined me or said no to one of my many 'must-haves'...."But Mom, that's not fair"! And she would always return with the same response, "Life isn't fair". I remember looking at her with this look of disdain and disappointment because that was always the reason. And of course, at 13 that reason sucks.

Now more than ever, I truly understand that statement.

For most of my life I have lived in a bubble. I have never had to deal with trauma; never had to experience someone close to me dying; never been the victim of child abuse, etc. I have lived a very sheltered life. And now, as an adult I realize that terrible things happen to so many innocent people out there and it breaks my heart. I feel so damned helpless because not one thing I will do, will ever change the terrible thing that has happened to these people.

I read Heather's blog everyday, and everyday I think...this really couldn't have happened. Maddie really can't be gone. And then reality hits me that she is.

Her blog has made reality slap me in the face. And I don't say that with a negative connotation. I am so thankful that I found her blog and for the feelings that are invoked in me. I now take the time to really look at my children and immerse myself in them in a way that I hadn't before.

For a brief second, I will look at one of my children and think "what-if"? The thought is so horrific that I immediately have to stop. And then of course I think about Heather. She has to live this reality everyday. In my eyes, she is the strongest person I know. I don't know how parents cope after this, but she does and she is amazing.

I would do anything to bring back her daughter. But here I am, helpless because nothing will change what has happened.


So, as always, Mom is right. Life is not fair.

This blogging business is hard!!

Hats off to all who do this regularly! It is a lot harder than it looks!

I thought it would be fun to start a 'little blog' and jot down thoughts and the funny things that happen in my household. Ha...was I so wrong. It is very time consuming to create a post. I am such a perfectionist and am constantly going back in to all my posts and tweaking it here and there! No wonder I can never get more than one or two done a week.

Seriously, all you pros out there you make it all look so easy!

You all inspired me to start this blog and for that I am thankful. My memory is so bad and I will be soo happy when I can look back on this blog and read all the things that I have forgotten ;)

Giving the Bird

Everytime Grace points at something she uses her middle finger. I have no idea why, but trust me I have tried to correct her a thousand times and she always reverts back to the middle finger. And when she does point with her middle finger, she uses it 'stiletto style'. The girl cracks me up!

This is so indicitive of her personality! She is going to be someone who is not going to take a lot of crap from anyone.

At times, ok most times, she is hard to parent. But a part of me loves her independence and stubborness. I know that it will play an important part of her life...in a good way :) She will never be taken advantage of, that is for sure.

For instance, if I tell her not to do something, she will try to negotiate and make me understand why she must be doing what I have asked her not to do. I am constantly debating with a 3 year old!

Below are some pics I took of Grace showing me the shapes she made with her playdough. Yikes! I hope this doesn't get her kicked out of Kindergarten!

Well it's official.....I'm old

At 39 I have found my first gray hair!! I guess I should consider myself lucky for making it this long without having to dye my hair....but it really makes the big 40 a reality!

And for some unknown reason, I refuse to pull it out. I kind of like that it is hidden and tucked away most of the time. Like my little secret ;)

I have attached a photo of it and as you can see it is a wild hair! It sticks right up and is goes every which direction!

Oh well. Cest le vie!

Where's my cape?

This working full-time and then rushing home to be a decent parent sucks! Don't get me wrong, I have a great job, one that I love, but it is a VERY busy job and being a mama is a VERY busy job! I don't know how to do it all and not feel guilty about something slipping between the cracks.

I have yet to put together Grace & Jake's baby books and they are 3years old!! WTF! And I haven't even started on Caroline's either! There truly is just not enough time in the day.

How do y'all out there get it all done?? My house is constantly a mess. There is always laundry to do and don't even get me started on cooking meals! I am running out of ideas of what to feed them (refer to my last post). And lately it has been easier to buy new clothes vs. washing the dirty ones! I can't believe I just admitted that!

So, Superwoman I am not and it is no wonder the cape is nowhere to be found!

Popcorn and Chocolate Chip Cookies....

Well I definitely won't be winning any 'mother of the year' awards with this one!!

Late yesterday around 4pm, Grace & I went to Target and of course the minute she knew we were going there, she immediately started asking for popcorn! So, as soon as we got in the store, we bee-lined it to the popcorn. She & I noshed on it while we shopped :)

Miraculously, we did not finish it all so I brought the remainder home for Jake. By this time it is now just about dinner time and throwing all sense of responsible parenting out the window, gave Jakey the rest to eat. By now, Jake & Grace have decided they want to play outside and of course are not hungry for a real dinner. So the next example of fine parenting I display is by giving them each a chocolate chip cookie for dessert ;) The only one in the house that got a decent meal was Caroline and that's only because she is too young for popcorn!

Honestly I don't normally feed my children this way, I typically cook every night of the week and last night I was tired and couldn't think of making another meal.

Let's just hope they remember this as one of those 'fun' times when Mama didn't make us eat the good stuff!


Not one of my finer parenting moments ;)

A BIG Shout Out!!

Yeah!! My blog design is done and I love it!

The Cutest Blog on the Block designed the whole thing and in a matter of days. And let me tell you, I have as much creativity as a gnat, so they really earned their money with me ;)

Now if only I knew what the hell to write about! ;)