Monday, February 22, 2010

I'm not cut out for this...

world. This world where babies are taken much too soon from their mommies & daddies. I just don't understand.

I know some of you must be saying "oh boy, here she goes again."

Yes, here I go again. I am heartbroken of hearing about a little girl named Layla Grace who is only two years old and is riddled with cancer. Her only hope is a miracle. I feel so damn helpless when I hear about these babies, who should be doing nothing but running around with their brothers and sisters and playing, but instead are in hospital beds being fed chemo.

I'm sorry if I go down this path a lot, it's just something that is constantly on my mind. I look at my kids and thank God everyday that they are healthy and that I can wrap my arms around them. And then the sadness and the guilt comes rushing in.

I had a REALLY bad day on Saturday. I mean, REALLY, REALLY bad. I woke up in a bad place and could not shake it all day. I was frustrated with everything and everyone. I had no patience or tolerance for anything. It was a BAD day. And I am ashamed at the way I behaved.

And then the reality of life slaps me in the face and I am brought back down to earth.

I just don't understand. I guess I never will. It is God's plan and somehow I have to learn to cope with that.

Until then, you all get to listen to my rants about it ;)

1 comment:

Jenny said...

We are so much a like. And I'm just here to say, I TOTALLY understand. I feel the same, both in my actions to my own family and my broken heart for others!