So, I might have found my calling

As I have posted many times before, my frustration is at an all time high with this feeling of helpless to help these babies dying of cancer. I am kept awake by their haunting stories. My mind is constantly being tugged to sympathize with this mother who is losing her baby and my deep desire to reach through my computer screen and sit for hours and just cry with her.

I am constantly thinking of what I can do to offer some kind of help. Whether it be donating my time, donating my resources, dontating money...but none seemed to be of enough impact that would satisfy me. I need a cause that would impact not just one person, but many families. And I think I found it.

So, I was talking to a colleague yesterday and we were talking about sweet Layla Grace and all that is happening with this sweet child. And it was her who actually started talking about the donating of cord blood. Then and there was an ah-ha moment.

The two times I have given birth, I was sent stuff in the mail about storing my cord blood. And it seemed like a great idea, but it is soooo expensive to do it and, unfortunately, the cost deterred me. Then I heard about a Dr. who suggested to his patient that they donate the cord blood that way, if someone else needs it, it is there. The goal would be that all mother's would donate the blood, therefore not needing to pay the storage fee and then there would be lots more cord blood to go around.

It seems like such a no-brainer. Cord blood can help with so many different diseaes. Here is the link the the Cord Blood Registery.

While I know that are many, many pros to this, as with anything, there are also cons. But I believe that the pros outweigh the cons.

So, I will be embarking on a new journey to encourage new mom's to donate their cord blood.

I honestly, have no idea how I am going to start and how I am going to get the word out to millions of people. But I am up for the challenge.

Will you help me?

How do I do it?

How do I sit here and work knowing that a sweet, precious little girl is losing her fight with cancer and will most likely leave this earthly world before the day is over?

I know that many of my friends do not want to hear me talk about this and all the other babies that I get consumed with that are fighting one battle after another. I know it depresses them and it's hard as mom's thinking about that happening to us, but on the other hand, isn't that exactly why we should be consumed with this? Because it is not happening to us and we should be doing all the we can to help these families.

But what is it that I should be doing? I think this is where my frustration comes in. I feel so helpless that all I can offer are my words of sorrow, love and peace and that surely is not enough. Not in my book anyway.

I truly feel like God has led me down this path and I am here to do something of value but I don't know what??? Why has he led me to these families?? There has to be something I can do.

If anyone has any ideas...please, please let me know. Maybe us mom's should get together and form some kind of place where we can express our emotions and brain storm on what we can do. What do you think?

Wordless Wednesday

Rockin the pig tails!

I'm not cut out for this...

world. This world where babies are taken much too soon from their mommies & daddies. I just don't understand.

I know some of you must be saying "oh boy, here she goes again."

Yes, here I go again. I am heartbroken of hearing about a little girl named Layla Grace who is only two years old and is riddled with cancer. Her only hope is a miracle. I feel so damn helpless when I hear about these babies, who should be doing nothing but running around with their brothers and sisters and playing, but instead are in hospital beds being fed chemo.

I'm sorry if I go down this path a lot, it's just something that is constantly on my mind. I look at my kids and thank God everyday that they are healthy and that I can wrap my arms around them. And then the sadness and the guilt comes rushing in.

I had a REALLY bad day on Saturday. I mean, REALLY, REALLY bad. I woke up in a bad place and could not shake it all day. I was frustrated with everything and everyone. I had no patience or tolerance for anything. It was a BAD day. And I am ashamed at the way I behaved.

And then the reality of life slaps me in the face and I am brought back down to earth.

I just don't understand. I guess I never will. It is God's plan and somehow I have to learn to cope with that.

Until then, you all get to listen to my rants about it ;)

Gracie goes back to preschool

Yesterday was Grace's first day at her new preschool. All weekend we had been talking about it and getting her ready, or should I say, she was getting us ready! She kept saying "I'm going to my new preschool!" and would tell us all about her new teacher, Ms. M, and how she would be making new friends. The girl was over the moon about going.

So yesterday morning came and she woke with a huge smile on her face and was soo excited! She picked out her favorite outfit (courtesy of Grammy), picked out what she wanted in her new lunchbox. Wanted me to make sure we packed her new Care Bear blanket for nap time.

When it was time to go, she kissed her brother & sister good-bye and told them that she was going to her new school!

On the way to school she said "Mama, today is my special day. I get to go to my new preschool!". I told her that from here on out, it was going to be her special day because she would be going everyday!

Once we got there, we were told where everything was to go. Where to sign her in, where to put her lunch and things. We were shown her own cubby with her name already up on awaiting her arrival.

I hung out a while to make sure she was fitting in and boy was she! She immediately connected with these two older girls, who included her in playing a marble game and were all taking turns playing together. It was adorable. She seemed right at home. Not one ounce of shyness, no lack of confidence. She was on her way.

I stayed only 20minutes because she was kicking me out the door! She was just fine with me leaving and just fine with starting her new adventure at a really great preschool.

So of course, by 3pm I was anxious to get out the door and go and get my girl and hear all about her day.

As I arrived, I found her in the craft room with a pretty little princess crown she had made with foam pieces. She was smiling ear-to-ear and was soo excited to show and tell me all about her 1st day. Her Teachers all said how great she was and how well she listened and used her manners.

Nothing could have made me happier at that moment. I for the first time in a long time, felt like I had made a good 'mommy move'!.

This morning was basically a repeat of the above. She was thrilled to get there today and instantly knew the drill and sat down and started playing with her friends.

Life is good in the mommy world today!

Wordless Wednesday

Mama's Song

Ever since my kids were born, I have sung a song to them. So much so, that the twins now know most of the words by heart.

The song is 'Three Little Birds' by Bob Marley.

I love it when someone in our house just breaks out and starts singing the song. It makes a bad day, and instant good day. You can't help but smile. I even hear the hubby singing it too ;)

Just recently Nick Jr. made a cute little music video using that song and every time it comes on, my kids will start screaming for me. "Mama!!! Your song is on! Come quick!!" So we all run into the room and listen and sing along with 'my' song. Life is good!

Enjoy the show!!

Trials and Tribulations

So, as of lately we have been thrown into a HUGE power struggle with Grace. So much so, that I am completely terrified of her teenage years!

Back in October we decided to pull all the kids out of preschool and put them in an in-home daycare (here's the post about it) because they were getting sick so much and Grace's hospitalization in January of '09 was the final straw. So we moved them over and thought it was the best choice. Fast forward to now and Grace's attitude has never been worse! I don't know if the two situations are related or not, but the girl is just being sooo naughty.

So after much discussion, we have decided to put Grace back in preschool. We are thinking that the lack of structure and the lack of academics is contributing to her naughtiness! I truly think she needs the structure and is easily bored without it. That and not having the challenge of learning everyday. It was just too much down time for her. She is going to be one of those kids they were are going to have to have in many activities.

Anywho, wish us well that the switch back to preschool will be an improvement in her attitude. Otherwise I am going to put her up to the highest bidder!! jk ;)